I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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