It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
