so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
