Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Bring me that man meat
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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