How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize