that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
