i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
