her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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