The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
