my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
