There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
