She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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