Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
