I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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