Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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