I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
