I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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