is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
