I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
