listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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