Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
