wake up i wanna do it froggy style
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
