dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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