if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
