We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
