youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just gargled with NyQuil
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
