fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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