The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
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I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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