My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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