these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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