grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
