just come out here and I will go home with you...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
