Kiss
Puke
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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