I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
