it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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