My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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