if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
