Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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