I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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