I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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