i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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