SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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