Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
