you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
