I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
did i just pee glitter
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
