fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
