I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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