You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
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