hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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