If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize