Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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