those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
