Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
