You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize