omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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