That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
