my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
