he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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