Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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