you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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