I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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