Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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