so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
