I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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